Before I write this article I will specify that this is my own personal blog and not publicly associated with our Facebook account. There is a price to calling yourself a Christian and many in this world today call themselves this, but have no concept of what it actually is. I fully admit to having many flaws that I need to work on. The list of daily struggles (sins) is long and one day I will not have to deal with these imperfections. But I’m all too human with real feelings.
All I know is that when life gets too much I start to look up. I catch myself far too often asking God when He is coming back? It’s the not knowing that unsettles me the most. I do take real comfort believing that everything is going to be restored and made the way it should be (Rev 21:5). Still knowing that I wonder how much longer will this world carry on the way it is? We are bombarded by disturbing headlines all the time.
My own struggles with inadequacy stretch to all aspects of my life now. Who am I? First and foremost I am a child of God. No one can take that from me. Ultimately God knows my heart, and I answer to Him alone. After that I am a wife and mother. Being a natural born people pleaser I want everyone to be happy with me. This has brought me nothing but troubles. I have the ability to make some people very happy and of course can upset some by not complying.
Paul writes about this in his letter to the Corinthian church. 1 Cor 9:22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save one.
Surely Paul struggled with this. He never married and had children as his life was solely dedicated to doing God’s will. Paul had his own battles and stresses that nearly all of us would have crumbled under if put in his position. That is why of course God did not burden him with more responsibility such as a family. A lot of women in today’s day and age are bothered by Paul’s passage touching on husbands and wives roles in such plain English (Ephesians 5:22-33). That portion of scripture often surfaces in Bible studies and can be rather amusing to see play out between couples. What everyone needs reminding about is even though he wrote most of the new testament it was all inspired by God (2 Timothy 3:16).
Everyone needs to be working on improving some aspect of their lives. Mine is a journey that is never going to let up until my time is up. Along life’s way I’m going to continue to make mistakes just like everyone else. Anyone who expects me to be perfect will be sadly disappointed. I use to expect perfection in myself and it gave me only dissatisfaction and led to a frustrated mindset. Instead I ask for forgiveness when needed and rely solely on the Lord for direction and help.
My focus in life surrounds our two children and serving the Lord with the time He allows us. Our church family plays a big role in our family life. They have given us opportunities to serve Him over the years in capacities we never could have had on our own.
God loves me even though I’m not perfect and he loves me even with my flaws. This is what I now believe deep within my heart of my personal savior. I’m done people pleasing and only have one goal in mind.
Joshua 24:15b “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”